Purification

Today, well actually this morning, was a really tough one. I didn't sleep last night at all. I was really upset this morning, well actually I have been for the past couple of weeks as a lot of you know. I didn't know how to handle it anymore, so I decided to take a walk this morning at 5AM. I did a lot of thinking, how unhappy I am and how life's so unfair to me. As I was going down the street I noticed a homeless man sleeping on the sidewalk outside of a liquor store. It really made me feel upset, so I continued walking, but my thoughts now shifted to the fate of this poor individual. I decided to walk to 711 and go purchase him a sandwich and a cup of coffee. I backtracked to the man again who had already awoken and was just sitting there. I walked up to him with a smile on my face, he saw what I had brought him then he made eye contact with me. His eyes lit up, which only made my grin wider. I set the food down infront of him, and he started to thank me and shake my hand. He introduced himself to me and asked me if I could sit with him and join him in his breakfast. Of course I took up his offer and sat with him as the sun started to rise. We talked about a lot of things, but I was really curious as to how he ended up on the street like this. He began to tell me how he used to be a Father, a normal person just like the people that pass him by. He told me he had a wife and a daughter, but he messed up badly and she left him and took his daughter away. He said he fell into depression and just stopped working, in the end he lost it all. After hearing this my thoughts started going all crazy, I started to tear up but I hid it. I then told him how I was having some domestic problems as well and how I feel awful and hopeless. He then told me to never let an individual bring you down, to never make the same mistake he did. He said thinking about it will eat me up inside and leave me with nothing but sadness and hatred. His words are something I'm going to keep with me for a very long time. The sun was up and I realized I've been sitting there for an hour or so, I told him I had to be on my way. He thanked me again, and I thanked him for his advice and left him a Twenty Dollar bill. I proceeded back home with his words still deep in my thoughts, I knew what I had to do. It ends where it began, today is the start of the rest of my life.

It's not the two of us, concealing this means goodbye.
How I wish it to be us together crying at this farewell.
More than thinking back about it, I would like you to forget
And put me in this empty space.
Don't chase those long passed days.

Don't leave anything more than what's already left.
I hold onto this good bye, as I fall asleep
And the faint heat vanishes like tobacco.
The days that won't return,
the person I loved whom I do not concern.